Ethan Update

For weeks now I've wanted to update on what is really going on in our lives, not just those Daily December pictures that are all the fun memories, but few of the not-so-rockin', yet still-quite-memorable ones.

I open this post by saying that I know we totally have it good, we are blessed, my kids are rockin', and I couldn't ask for more.  We're healthy, we have jobs, Tim and I like each other, and our kids are sweet and growing.  We have a warm house, toilets, a dishwasher, food, our own laundry room, beds, and we're together.  But that doesn't mean that life is always cheery in our household.

There were times this fall that I experienced frustration and lack of patience (total understatement, I hate to admit).  A lot of it has to do with me not really knowing what is normal of 3-year-olds, nor how to deal with them.  Sometimes I needed to go with the flow more than I did, and sometimes I wanted more control of things, and, as it turns out, so do 3-year-olds.

Did I ever share about the night that Tim was out playing tennis and I called him about five times in a row, wanting to tell him that I needed help, that Ethan was being stubborn and crying and driving me crazy, and I wasn't sure if I could take it anymore, and finally I left a minute-long message on Tim's phone of JUST Ethan screaming.  And I felt a little better.

The kids are sometimes pretty clingy.  There have been times when I try to hold both kids on my lap during dinner or when we're reading books.  Anything for the sake of peace and happiness in our household.  But an 18-month-old and a 3-year-old don't like to share much of anything, and my lap is not one of them.

What to do about sharing!!!  Should I try to teach and train or should I let them duke it out?  We've had biting (Kate) and we've had pushing and hitting, and Ethan can be sneaky about it.  It's gotten pretty brutal, for sure.  And one night when we had friends over (they have a 2-year-old), Ethan walked around for a while trying to hold all the things that he wanted to keep to himself, and it was kind of comical seeing him struggle as he mumbled to himself, "These are mine."  But really it wasn't that funny because we've seen him be mean to little Jonah.  My friend (Jonah's mom) joked, "When does he start preschool?", as in, I think this kid needs to spend more time around other kids.  For sure.  Honestly, I wanted to cry, because it's hard to even have friends over. 

I think we're making headway.  Ethan seems to respond well to sitting down for little discussions about the type of behavior that we expect from him, and then simple reminders when he's in the situation about what some good choices would be. 

But when the kid is tired, good choices and a nice voice (from him, and sometimes from me too) go out the window.  Lately, I feel like I'm using that reason a lot.  "He's tired." We're in the time when he doesn't take a nap every day, but come 5 or 6 o'clock, it gets pretty hairy. 

Another thing that has been hard for Ethan is that he can be pretty hard to understand.  He has a lot of sounds that he can't say, and for a boy who is at an age where he has new ideas and an imagination, it can be pretty frustrating.  So we're getting some help for him, but first he has to warm up a bit to speaking in his speech sessions.  I'm pretty excited about it overall.

Preschool has been wonderful for Ethan.  He loves going.  He loves his friends and his teacher and asks every day if it's show and tell.  He says his friend Hunter tickles him, and he comes home each day telling us what he learned.  His teacher says he's a good colorer, and another teacher said she offered to help him get his snow clothes on, but he seriously insisted on doing it all himself, and it turns out he somehow learned how to zip his coat.  I did not know that until I asked him to show me.

Ethan still loves his trains, and he loves to play basketball and football.  He has his favorite clothes to wear, and he likes to attempt independence, but loves when we play with him and watch him attempt his fancy dance moves.  He has many moments where he shows love to Kate.  I love taking him shopping with me and he rocks at helping in the kitchen.  Some of his jobs right now are cleaning the kitchen and dining room floor, putting away the silverware, and stirring (anything, he just loves stirring, and he's pretty darn good at it).

This post has ended up being mostly about Ethan, so I'll save the updates on Kate for another time.